This is the break for the title track of 4:44, and it provides both the sonic bed for Jay’s lyrics, as well as the spiritual.
From the Hannah Williams track
Why do I find it so hard to love you?
When I know in my heart that I want to?…
I’m a part time lover and I’m never there
I find it hard to believe you don’t want it to end
I’ll be changing my tune when you walk in the room
I’ll be fixing the look on my face
I’m gonna get close to you, give my loving to you
At least until you’re going away
I know that I’m not good
I’m never gonna treat you like I should
I’ve heard that all of the boys think you’re crazy
When I treat you so bad, why do you want me?
I’ve heard that all of the girls are starting to hate me
For stealing your heart and treating you badly
It’s not surprising to me at all that it’s a woman singing this. I would be mildly surprised if she wrote it. Does that make me a villain for thinking that a lot of women have literally no heart when it comes to things like this? Like do I really think that most chicks have little to no guilt about what they put good men through?
I honestly don’t know. Like I was saying on the thread – dealing with women turns you into a player. You’re nice and soft when the only touchstones of feminine energy you have are your mother, grandmother, aunts, sisters, and cousins. Average guy takes that level of compassion and empathy into relationships he’s trying to have with women who aren’t his kin.
These women outside of the circle, they don’t love you unconditionally. In fact, they love you CONDITIONALLY. For non-players, Briffault’s law is in full effect.
In most rap songs, the sample itself rarely has anything to do with the lyrical content. But the chorus in this song and some of the verses actually helps Jay Z say what he wants to say.
I know that I’m not good
I’m never gonna treat you like I should
I’m a part time lover
But to borrow a line from his ode to black capitalism, he tries to give us a $1,000,000.00 of game for only $9.99.
That’s funny to me is that in this song, he’s basically telling us inadvertently how to deal with a Beyonce and the level of power he had with regard to her at the start.
So from Jay’s Song
I said: “Don’t embarrass me,” instead of “Be mine”
That was my proposal for us to go steady
How high on the totem pole do you need to be to tell Beyonce (@21 years of age, PRIME) – “don’t embarrass me”.
Objectively from Beyonce’s (or any powerful/famous/rich woman) – What were her real options. The chatter on the street was that Mos Def had already done hit it.
Beyonce, like everyone woman of her status, HAS TO DATE UP. She can try and pull an Oprah, but Steadman ain’t marrying her.
So on a lot of levels, Jay had Bey right where he wanted her. Taller, stronger, smarter, richer, more successful – And she has no real options. Think about J.Lo and Britney Spears married their back up dancers at some point. MARRIED…
Let’s keep going.
I seen the innocence leave your eyes
I still mourn this death and
This is probably one of Jay’s most poetic lines in years, but also the truth of being in relationship with a chick that believes you completely, and then you fall short.
I apologize to all the women whom I toyed with your emotions
‘Cause I was emotionless
Another $1,000 worth of game here. For the most part self explanatory. But how does one remain emotionless. Explaining how to NOT do something, how to control yourself – that’s 100K worth of game right there.
I will be emotionally available if I invited you over
Another gold line. I don’t even know what this looks like in practice, but the term “emotionally available” is a part of womanese.
One last bit of cash money
My heart breaks for the day I have to explain my mistakes
And the mask goes away
The Mask being the thing that we as men wear to the world. Always cool, always in control… And we do this for a reason. You can’t ever show weakness because the world will not forgive for it. And sometimes the world includes your woman.
https://youtu.be/MOcdhQ9KfJA
There’s a bit more “I’m sorry Beyonce” type stuff on the album, but most of it shows that you can get away with a whole lot, even when dealing with a top end chick.
-Archie