The scenario was that a young dude moved in with a chick, and shortly thereafter the chick started acting up. But he didn’t really have the funds to move out.
Ouch.
So the way the conversation evolved was basically that a guy needed to have his own affairs straight – and that if there was going to be any living together, it would be at is place, on his terms.
For guys that are new to this, maybe they’ve figured out the short game – got a great Tinder – Instagram for social proof and pre-selection, which then ramps up both attraction and trust during the first meet – making the “Hey come check out my World of Warcraft set up at my house” pretty easy.
The way this works is that you basically piqued her interest, engaged with her, and then you keep making her invest in you, until she bangs. And the bang is more investment.
The young player figured out the short game. Once he sees the structure, all the permutations of game just become obvious. His SMV is bullshit, because he makes the girl invest. His ability to make her invest is his VALUE, because she invests in NO ONE.
So young player goes from a few dates here and there, to more than Poon Tang Clan than you can handle.
He thinks he knows their behavior, because you’ve been able to master that behavior in a dating context.
So the somewhat wise player does recognize that when he has a chick on his home turf, he has advantages. When it comes to the short game, a chick’s rottweiler isn’t going to jump in the bed – because he’s at his place not at hers.
So the journeyman player doesn’t make this mistake of moving in with a chick.
So clearly the answer this issue is to have her move in to yours.
Well that’s basically the story of human civilization.
He doesn’t think chicks know how to turn his place into hers.
*opens curtains*
*brings some incense*
Suddenly that Japanese Sword Collection gets moved out of the living room….
Before he knows it, the mini skirt crew is watching Love and Hip Hop Scottsdale on his flat screen, heels up on his leather couch. On some, “Honey can you bring me a drink…”
How’d he get here?
Young Player
She must come to you and let you take care of her.
Veteran Player
She must come to you and you *let* her take care of *you*.
The veteran player knows that even if he has “home turf advantage”, a chick will organize and clean all that stuff away. Suddenly your clear bathroom sink is full of beauty products – as she turns 6.5 visage into the 8 that you pulled from the Meet Up Group. (Cringe all you want, the perfect 10 that you pulled that stays a perfect 10 will eventually bore you before she gets old. Growing used to a woman’s beauty is a topic for another time)
So the real value of a chick to you is her behavior. And whether that behavior subtracts or supports YOUR mission. Even if your only mission is to be #1 Dad – does she bolster your efforts or undermine you?
Thus, you can’t have a situation where she comes to live with you and you take care of her. That violates how you pulled her.
A woman must be capable of taking care of herself.
A woman worth living with has to be self sufficient. If I let one of these 23 year olds live with me, all they do is ask me to solve their problems.
When I went from Papi to Daddy to Dad, I got role confusion on her part. They got to be irresponsible. Before long, they want girls night out and return to that single life.
Scenario – She putting on makeup and it’s not for you…da fuck?
Question – How’d I get here? I had six chicks in rotation
Answer – “Whatever issue comes up, Archie will fix it”
I did these chicks a disservice to be honest, stunted their growth as adults.
A woman’s eventual role is going to be caretaking. But to do so, she has to be able to handle her own stuff and get used to being an adult.
Let that broad make you lasagna, so she skills up, invests in you, invests in herself. That’s what got you the bang, that’s how it continues to work.
I don’t know if my current approach will get you to death do us part, but I tell you for sure that taking care of a broad won’t get you there.
She will not appreciate what you bring into her life when you’re basically supporting her antics and behavior. I done helped chicks get jobs, get through school, get through tough emotional times, change careers, start businesses, meet a whole new social circle – them broads ain’t sent your boy as much as a fruit basket.
If I had known then what I know now. There wasn’t a West Indian Archie in the old days. It was guys just getting their first piece of pussy and fucks on the regular. I still see some of that mentality now, but some of those very bitter men found the game and have been telling their stories.
Some players have tried to technique their way out of these issues, but it comes back to the same psychology that got you the pull.
Am I reacting to her? No pussy, all problems
Or
Is she reacting to me? All pussy, no problems
Part of the reason meth dealer biker guy can have stripper pussy on lock is because she’s always trying to fix his life. He keeps her mentally engaged with his drama, not the reverse. She keeps putting so much into the relationship, and he puts in 1/10th. But it’s not because he’s playing a game. Not because he’s using dread or competition anxiety. Mr. Son of Anarchy has his own mission. The chick can only be around him, if she supports that mission. The fact that she wants to turn his attention away from that – is just her job.
Now you don’t ignore a chick. She’ll pour boiling water on you.
So let’s put it together.
- You pull a girl based on her reacting to you. (She reacts to you often because your frame is strong and you’re engaging her, but not reacting to her)
- You make nice with the Bible Reading.
- Now she becomes a person that might get on your team.
- She rises through the ranks, showing you not only her behavior towards you, but her behavior towards other.
- When she starts angling for keys to the crib, trying to basically lock you down – you have to define what you’re getting into and put a price on your freedom.
- If you want to keep her around, she needs to want to stay around. She’ll want to do that, if she invests. She won’t invest in you, if you’re always investing in her.
When you get this far, hit me up in the comments section.
-Archie