She suggests the date, who pays?

Let’s assume it’s early in your courtship, defined as within the first three encounters.

A quick aside on romance timetables

The old industry standard was romance by the end of the third date. That was the mark of a decent guy. The 00’s era pick up standard is seven hours of face time, cumulative.   They soon discovered that you could get a connection in far less time, but the effect of applying psychology for seven hours was to get far more than a brief interlude.  If you had emotional value past the physical, you had a good shot at doing more than the typical. How that played out for various celebrities we’ll talk about in a different post.

In this age of Fresh Direct and Netflix and Chill, with atrophied social skills and a degradation of culture and morals, even on a first night “connection”, a man might not get a second opportunity for connection much less be able to build something more substantial.

Back to the question

Chick is feeling you, and wants to go do something.  Wait hold up a second.

An aside on event dates in the modern age

Often these girls are nominally interested in “cool” Instagram worthy activities. She wants to “check in” at some hot spot. Again, for players my age (40+) this is NEW behavior. These chicks that are 18-22/23-26 are doing something different in terms of dating. You’re even more of an accessory in the life that is her movie. Topic #2 of things to explore in later posts.

Back to the lecture at hand

A dating expert *cough female cough* or a guy who thinks he can deduce his way into romance thinks of three options

1. If she asks, she pays
2. Split
3. He pays

And if you know nothing about game, these seem like three obvious options. So just based on this square way of thinking you’ll decide.

But where does that lead a guy?

She pays? She might get offended, and guys believe in the tight rope of game, where any little breeze will knock him off.

She pays? Is it because you’re secretly broke? DLV Bro! *demonstration of lower value

Split?  You’re either cheap or broke.  Better to be broke.

You pay? Simp! (lol) A girl might punish you for agreeing to her frame and investing in the interaction.  She could be turned off, which is an extreme reaction to your “kindness” and “generosity”. More likely is that you’ll be slotted into the provider role, and she’ll keep asking for more.

That’s why a square mentality gets a player fucked up. He has no good options when the question is framed that way.

This is not a pay for play site.

This is not a site that believes in dead end philosophies like “You pay either way, directly or indirectly, with cash or with time”

When it comes to cash, the player uses cash judiciously, and primarily for logistics, facilitating action, expediting things.

He rarely uses cash to attract, because in most situations in the West, cash repulses.  Let me be clear, cash doesn’t attract the girl in the right headspace for our interests.  She might want to bang, hoping to secure provisioning (see Seeking Arrangement secret threads) – but it’s not because she’s dying to hop on your truth.

So like I always do, let’s break down the scenarios where a girl you haven’t connected with suggests a place, and creates this tension about who pays?

Some of my initial questions

• How much money does she make?
• How old is she?
• How old are you in comparison up her?
• How feminist?
• What kind of money are we talking about?
• How many other chicks in your rotation?
• How badly do you want this chick?
• How good is your one on one game?
• Do you live in a place where you can be seen, recognized?
• Culture?
• Social consequences?

That’s what comes to my mind, and hopefully it will start coming to your mind as well.   Because this site isn’t about tactics.  Gambits and techniques changes – psychology largely stays the same.

I’ve been on other forums where guys are being cheapskates in South East Asia.  Funny how they couldn’t get quality in the states. Wonder if that’s related? (LOL)

Once we have those questions in our mind, now what?

The goal of this style of game is to use common scenarios to show value. You want to use your knowledge of culture, typical female logic and interests, as well as her psychology,, human psychology, to get closer to your goal of connection.

On a personal

EE stripper student I’ve dealt with
– Third world/ee mentality – mercenary
– Old school mentality – man pays, woman loves
– Money makes her wet – typical Russian chick that cares about labels. Used to being used by older men

Average American chick with a job?
– She suggests drinks or dessert, cool. Trivial
– She wants Red Lobster or Benihana’s and fixes her face to ask me that before we bang – I made a mistake somewhere along the way.

Fresh off the boat Chinese chick
– If her purse is a fake, and she likes a lot of cute stuff – she is often the worst of both worlds – expects you to pay, but not sexually/culturally mature.  The type of chick that believes in true romance like the movies.

Where I’m Coming From

I have gainful employment, so I’m not trying to find ways to get out of paying. I’m also very secure on who I am, so it’s not about appearing like a square.

So what is my thought process?

I will pay or not pay, or use the situation in order to get my desired end.

My style of game is about getting as much value out of a situation and getting as much investment on her part. Both options can get me what I want.

So let’s take some typical cases, where it’s not clear on the surface how to respond.

Scenario #1 –

Assume – You make a little bit more money than the girl, the same, or slightly less. The money could be spent, but you’re not reaching for your pockets when the check comes.

The easiest work around is, you pay, but you expect her to contribute.  It’s not that you need her money, it’s that to get closer, she needs to invest.

“You got cash for the tip?”

Take me for ice cream -> which can easily parlay into, let’s go to the store and get some ice cream, let’s eat the ice cream in your fridge.  in any of these ice cream scenarios, you move her around, chance to build trust, show social proof, and get closer to good isolation. The ice cream scenario can easily lead to spoon feeding, spooning…you know the rest.

So you can do dinner the player way.

Scenario 2 – The Big Outlay

What about tickets to an event when you haven’t connected?

She wants to see Kanye or maybe some less extravagant act

You’re going to have to shell out, and there’s a possibility, that she could cancel at the last minute.

There is no situation I can think of where this is a lock.  This is definitely a gamble.    And this is a Vegas bet, she’s the house, so there’s a good chance that you’re going to lose. You lose either in that there is no bang, she does bang  you…her new provider boyfriend, or you balk and she walks.

We’re trying to avoid gambles.

Be out of town or something.  Or the night of, FLAKE.

“Aw man, client came through at the last minute, sorry baby”

And these are just a few situations.

WIA