The jokes write themselves. Internet pretty boy meets a girl online with no pics. Good body, but bad face and smell. He doesn’t hesitate to bang, but now he’s out in public with a chick that he doesn’t like.
So the typical player advice applies, he has to man up and drop the chick.
The question is really why does a self-described good looking guy fall into this trap?
No game.
-Archie
Old School tech, that you probably aren’t using. This is from one of my favorite shows ever, Yes Minister/Yes, Prime Minister.
Should start @ 20:50.
Talking about current events seems like such a cheap move, but there are some game lessons. Lemme throw some red meat to the wolves.
Kellz
Kellz has been found guilty of all sorts of things in the court of public opinion. But Him, OJ, MJ and Jay Z were found not guilty in an actual court. I digress.
People are really in their feelings about Kellz. Nobody would ever malign WIA by saying he’s a fan of R&B. It’s not interesting to note that most of R Kelly’s initial fan base was women, but it is noteworthy that his primary fanbase after the criminal trial is primarily women.
Weinstein was trying to use his position to bang the unsuspecting. Cosby straight up drugged chicks. Maybe some were down with that sort of activity, but once you go unconscious – you’re ability to consent ends.
Kellz though? He was (allegedly) targeting chicks at high schools and McDonald’s. That’s some straight predatory behavior if true. Post Trial is where parents were offering up their daughters so they could have a shot at a career.
So let’s recap, 1) most of his current supporters are women, 2) the people who sacrificed their daughters were parents.
In the current blacklash, who’s getting the most umbrage? Is it the female base of Kelly’s wealth? The parents who didn’t know any better?
No, it’s people like Drake, Toure, and Charlemagne the God. 3 arguable allies to the movement. Folks that didn’t want to appear in the documentary against Kellz and had nothing to do with Kellz are feeling the heat.
So with respect to the game, what can you learn. The Kellz topic is not something I’d bring up while trying to bust my raps for a chick. It’s the wrong kind of chick crack. (I was just at Shake Shack listening to some woke daughter jawboning her father about this)
In terms of what to learn from Kelly – I’m not really one to push dark side techniques. But if you read the accounts, it reads like a girlfriend asking you to pet her dog, put some food in the doggie bowl, to ultimately could you watch my dog while I have some guy come over to stay the weekend.
Nicki and Her New Guy
I’m sure I mentioned this someplace else, but the general understanding of The Games that Men and Women play is that the woman tries to get the best, and the man tries to get the most. A man will cheat opportunistically, whereas a woman never cheats – she moves up and/or gets her needs filled. Cheating doesn’t exist per the hypergamous mindset.
Uh. sure.
But in this case, Nicki Minaj is probably one of the top/most successful/richest rappers currently relevant today. She’s being outshone by Cardi B, but that’s neither her nor there.
She shocked the world by essentially just dating some random dude (who has a few charges to his name). He’s not a rapper, ceo, or even some drug dealing boss. He’s just some random dude from Queens. Judging by his ex, I would gladly take a class to study under a master.
A girl like Nicki, who has everything material that she could ever want, her only real options for dating/long term relationships is an equal of a superior. Just go through the list of her peers and superiors. Those are her options as a 36 year old.
And speaking of a chick with too much money, but not a lot of real relationship options
Bezos
MacKenzie Bezos is about to cash in to the tune of 67 billion dollars, making her the 5th richest person in the world. She ain’t typed a line of code in her life. She didn’t even help him write the business plan.
Mrs Bezos told Vogue in 2013: “I have no business sense whatsoever, but I saw how excited he was.”
She faces the Nicki Minaj/Oprah Winfrey problem too. What about Jeff Beezy though?
He was a hedge fund guy, so there’s no doubt that he knew about real money. The old saw about not getting married. Could he have created an arrangement with Mackenzie? Who knows. But based on the press’s reports of his “sexting”…he doesn’t look like he had the stones.
-Archie
There are a lot of issues in teaching game. The sort of people attracted to this material, run the gamut from great to goofy. Even the goofy guys figure it out.
A bigger issue is that society basically programs people to consume, to vote, to work, but not to produce, run for office, or to get workers. Schools, Media, Family, Culture, teaches us to be passive, to be robots.
And this is a perfect example of that. Want to save democracy? Try teaching kids to read charts. The reporter (and possibly the editor and the organization as a whole) probably doesn’t have the vision to understand the social value of teaching people to consume versus teaching people to produce.
If you ever wonder why universities in lesser developed countries are always seeming to spark revolutions – it’s because The State isn’t strong enough to have seduced them from an early age into non-action. In the West, we basically channel capable people into the system. *Looks around cubicle as I pen this on my smartphone, because I can’t use the work pc for personal business* In other places, they are painfully aware that the jig is up.
I’ve said before, the guys that have the hardest time learning game, are the good students. Aside from people that have to be spoon fed answers and reasons, there are tons more that can’t even really fathom their own social programming – and don’t realize when the programming kicks in, and when they
I don’t want to get too deep into what is probably driving this particular article – but it’s that old trope of the “low information voter”. People make the decisions they make because they don’t have enough information. That’s type of thinking is part of the Tyranny of the Learned. It’s why Wall Street Quants that work for Hedge Funds, don’t run Hedge Funds. Why Silicon Valley Developers struggle on 6 figure salaries, while their managers have money to do some angel investing of their own.
As to this chart, and how society indoctrinates you to become passive – children should be taught how to make a chart that deceives people.
When you look at the curriculum of the best and most prestigious schools – they often teach a lot of ancient history. John Taylor Gatto (RIP) says that elite education is about 1 thing.
The management of crowds.
While most red pill mouth breather sites are all Marcus Aurelius, and learning to deal with suffering with a stiff upper lip – or some Zen bullshit where you learn to NOT DESIRE so you can never hurt from deprivation – Game is usually more external. They want you to think that’s it’s about control of yourself. By controlling yourself….you can get the girl. Self Control and Self Denial are just one half of the puzzle. Not blurting out the same bullshit that you normally blurt out, controlling your breathing, channeling your flight response into action. But Game is largely about social control.
So the question is how do you deal with it?
Noir asked this question on the thread – when screening girls for a move up the roster, what do you do with the following?
The TL DR is that you have to adapt to the times and be willing to lose chicks to the whims of the internet crowd. Can’t put the milk back into the carton. Pandora’s box is open.
The red pill alpha mouth breather solution is –
I don’t know where these dudes live, but you can’t really run a relationship like that. You can attempt to lay down the law, but she will just go behind your back. And if you’re always threatening to bounce and don’t, she loses respect. If you bounce, you lose the girl. If you bounce, and she comes crawling back – she’s on eggshells at first, but eventually the addict has a relapse. This battle with her iPhone is one that you are going to lose.
There is no player solution here.
A good pimp doesn’t string his stable out on drugs. Because the draw of the drug is greater than the draw of his love and guidance. And that’s what you’re dealing with, a digital drug.
A lot can be said for the problems of pornography addiction, but internet addiction is far worse and far more pervasive. That glass slab in her hands delivers unpredictable dopamine hits. And the addiction part is not the hit, but the anticipation of the hit. That’s why there is endless scroll.
So what motivates her underlying behavior? The hit she’s getting is social response.
This need for social response, isn’t something new to pick up, but it’s gone exponential at this point.
Whenever you date a girl, casually or seriously, you’re dating her entire social network. What goes on between the sheets is between you, her, and her close friends. Any relationship issue you have (her said and unsaid expectations not being met) she’s going to go her brain trust about. You haven’t lived until you find out her period is late from a text that her mother sends to you. (oh, was that just me? fuck y’all then)
That type of “chatter” was first enabled with the telephone and then the cellphone.
Now, the internet is a part of your relationship. Obviously she’s always yapping about the relationship to her friends. But also her family, other guys, and followers. Back in the day, she was more of herself. She might have been showing off a little for her friends, but it was reasonable.
Nowadays what constitutes “self” includes this curated presentation of self to a somewhat anonymous audience. She cares very much what these internet strangers have to say about her life with you.
And that’s a problem. It’s not one that you can solve, and it’s not one that normal girl can solve either.
Happy 2019!
Title: The Dress for Respect
Client: Schweppes
Office: @OgilvyBrasilSee more design work here: https://t.co/plNvU4NFAw#ClientWork pic.twitter.com/8QRDU960uh
— Ogilvy (@Ogilvy) November 28, 2018
Factors
What do you think is going to happen?
Remind you of the white girl with the big booty strolling through Harlem (and I guess the rest of NYC)?
Food for Thought
-Archie
I haven’t been posting as much as I would like. But this is where I am in terms of the book. I have to rewrite a chapter on openers, because I lost it over a power outage, but that was only 12 pages. It’s about ~700 pages in a word doc.
I’ve been distilling knowledge from the last 7 of the 8 years i’ve been online into the book. I figure the rough draft shall be done by shortly and I’ll edit and refine.
Then I have to slim the book down so you guys can get the juice and some understanding, and just have the rest as additional volumes.
-ArchMaester
Recommendation – Strong Buy
Reservations – My world view is different and my game is different, but there is still value to be had in what Roosh teaches.
My Typical Book Recommendation.
My usual recommendation for a book on pick up is The Book of YaReally. The book is kinda hard to find if you don’t know how to google well, but here’s a link to the captured website .
His book is a collection of blog comments organized roughly by category. 950+ pages. He takes one guy from zero to hero – Scray, and explains all sorts of practical details when it comes to approach anxiety, starting, learning, escalation anxiety – and the practical nitty gritty of how do I get from point A to Point B. But that’s also why it’s so long.
Book of YaR basically updates the Mystery Method and PUA for the current era. It isn’t really a book on Game with a Capital G (Being defined by me as focusing on the psychology and behavior of the player and the lady), but more so MM updated to deal with texting, social media, dating sites, and a Red Pill 1.5.
Roosh’s Book is similar. Mystery Method for the most part has been jettisoned, but the practical realities of dating plus Red Pill 2.0.
Where I’m coming from.
I’ve been on RVF since close to the beginning. I remember Roosh from his DC Bachelor days. I don’t remember Roissy the commenter, but I do remember following the site and Virgle Kent’s site back then. My cold approach night game was probably at its peak. I had been devouring game since ~00? And been an active practitioner from 1/1/2001. It was about 6 months after a break up, not that I wanted to be a player in the new millennium.
I read Bang when it dropped (07) and eagerly followed his travels. I’d had 7 years of running game at that point, and slaying was as easy as breathing. I was a solid practitioner.
The first Bang, was basically a no-frills/stripped down Mystery Method. And it came out of a fellow STEM guy like myself, not an artistic guy (it’s called a pick up ARTIST for a reason).
The key message, it might even be a verbatim quote, is that when he changed his behavior – his results changed.
He didn’t suddenly become this muscle bound, billionaire. He thought differently, acted differently, and got different results. Within PUA, there’s this idea, If one man can do it, another man can. Tyler used to say it all the time, I don’t know if they still adhere to that these days.
And then things changed. I believe it was RVF veteran Scorpion that talked about the dating apocalypse.
The Internet + Social Media + Dating Sites + iPhones.
This happened in 2007-2009. I was probably in a relationship at the tail end of the change, so when I got back out – the world was a different place. Girls still basically react to the PUA the same, and everyone still reacts to Game – but the girls were taking themselves out the running.
But a lot of it was this new preference for communication.
Along with this change, Roosh changed. The world changed Roosh. Roosh changed with the new world. And Roissy, who like a lot of white guys doing PUA always had a few raised eyebrows, he along with others started this new “era” of PUA that wasn’t PUA at all. It was the manosphere. A convergence of racists, anti-feminists, misogynists, arch-conservatives…. I don’t want to get into it, but this was not my scene at all.
PUA has always had republicans, libertarians, traditionalists, but the average PUA just liked sex. Girls, as a group, could be frustrating. “Girl Power/Feminism” was annoying. But women were not the enemy. Individual women could tear your heart out – but most of us understood that dealing with a woman in all of her glory was part of the price. If she was logical and predictable, like a man, you would not be as interested.
Bang was written before this change in female behavior and the rise of Manosphere – with its offshoots into politics. Classic PUA (all the people that have game careers thanks to Project Hollywood) after being exposed in the Game but then just ridiculed into obscurity with Mystery’s show moved into being Tony Robbins lite. (The latest era is bringing back a lifestyle based game as advertised on Social Media, but that’s another topic)
What would happen if Bang was rewritten for today?
That’s what happened. Knowing what he knows about today, how would you update the book?
10 Chapters with 2 Appendices
Introduction – Roosh’s World View
How spoiled are women for sexual options? Very. And all of these offers explain their behavior. And if her behavior is like this now, what sort of long term partner would she make. This line of inquiry – the LTR qualities that a man can detect early on – is a big theme of the book.
For Roosh, Girls are not just spoiled for choices, they are spoiled – mostly everywhere that’s been touched by modernity. Classic PUA 2.0 as best exemplified by YaReally’s Book on Game, has basically dealt with this reality in practice (We don’t love these hoes!) but not really in philosophy. PUA can be sought of as a set of moves, whereas Roosh is offering an entire school of thought.
As he notes, this is the best of times and the worst of times. “Casual Encounters” are super easy. A young woman can swipe a boy over, he takes an uber to her place, they order seamless, watch Netflix, have relations, and he leaves. There has been a lot of handwringing in The Press about “hookup culture” and the emptiness that women have afterwards, but this is the world they chose.
R defines game as “a collection of beliefs, behaviors, strategies, and tactics to make women more attracted to you while increasing your likelihood of experience intimacy”
The word here for me is “likelihood”.
The book will suggest how to improve yourself (building your foundation), a simple timeline from meet to relations, and practical methods to go from point A to B. A lot of care is taken to not write this like the old school chick recipe style book.
Without a doubt, the book is about COLD APPROACH. Night game or day game, the game is the mostly same.
He talks a bit about his 2002 style of game and you can sense the cringe in his writing. As much as we want the game to be an art, a lot of it will always be cringey. When it’s smooth and elegant, it often doesn’t do what we expect it to do. There’s this narrative tendency in explaining game, we want it to be smooth, but the real life is that it’s often not.
He says that provider game used to work in chapter 1, and this is where my understanding of game diverges from his.
Provider “Game” in America
If you’re goal is to dangle a better economic life in front of a chick if she pleases you romantically – Provider Game works and has always works. Provider “game” still works now for chicks that want providers, its always worked.
But who are these girls? I’m sure a lot of you guys know women in your life looking for a “good man” and what good man means is a stable high income job. I know I do. He only needs to be somewhat nice, not a player, and he can have a relationship. But these aren’t girls that I want, and you probably don’t want them either.
The classic tome, Practical Female Psychology as well as anything that delves into women’s sexual strategies.
One guy is for good genes, the other guy is for resources is how it breaks down. Guys have made great side hustles on examining this idea of “Hypergamy” (which I pronounce as high-purr-guh-mee, not High-Per-Game-EEE). A lot of commentators will go as far to say that the Rich Guy is getting transactional sex, but Alpha guy is getting validational sex. Moving on..
Roosh says his job is to teach you how to pull with the least effort possible. Again, this is a divergence in our thinking. I’m really about trying to do the most. I am really about taking some low key interaction and making it into a classic night.
But I think it would be fair to say that the book is a lazy man’s guide to getting laid. He goes through a lot of lengths to protect egos and to focus on easy to remember strategies and going for mini-relationships instead of copious SNL’S and the constantly on the make conception of classic PUA.
Roosh does recall some L’s which are kinda funny, but also not written defensively. I’m not going to give his critics any ammunition, but the book could easily be taken out of context.
One of the things that comes to mind when I read his encounters (when I watch anyone else’s encounters) – that’s not the message I would take away from the feedback. He recalls a 2013 Toronto Encounter, where the chicks were evaluating him on every joke. He got the Game “goofy” in that instance to me. It is a tough thing for me to say that you should be evaluating chicks – but that’s what I see some of his problems are.
There is a practical paradox in being a man with standards and then trying to have girls like you. More later.
There are some more “old man”-isms in the first chapter.
Back in my day, men were men and women were women. Instead of railing on manly chicks, it’s the basic soy-boy characterization of guys playing video games, porn, and “soy products”. Roosh knows his audience.
The rest of the chapter sets up a world where women are gaining power and men are basically XY Hyenas looking to feed of the old and injured of the herd, occasionally catching a choice gazelle. None of us are Lions in his mind anymore.
There is also a lot of the “enjoy the decline”/”social decline is happening”/Decline of Western Society. He says all of this, because his game skills require constant updating.
He paints a very grim picture, which undoubtedly conforms to his world view and a lot of people in the Red Pill community.
Thing is, I’m black. Not inconveniently black, but like I’ve read Garvey, Diop, Rodney, Vessey, Douglas, X, Nkrumah, Newton, etc black.
Roosh gives his background as a late bloomer and his initial motivations. (get laid and get a GF). This LTR orientation carries through the book, a Madonna/Whore complex.
Chapter 2 Internal Game
“Your beliefs determine behavior.”
A very strong statement which he applies to men. A classic PUA would take this unassailable logic and apply it to women. There is not much of that this in the book. He departs from late 90’s teachings.
To up your Internal game aka Inner Game he suggests Affirmations. He has a list of 7 that he likes. One particular one to note is this one.
“A girl primarily evaluates my value based on how I treat her”
Guys think it’s their looks, but Roosh argues that it’s how guys treat girls. Further, she only wants to be with a guy that is of higher value. And what do high value people do to low value people – treat low value people as if they are beneath them.
This is traditional PUA thinking that RSD and Todd V all incorporate. But coming from a BMG perspective, where the dominant society treats you like this constantly – what we know is that this builds resistance. Don’t treat my kindness for weakness is a common thing, but it plays with the notion of being liked by all or having everyone wonder if they like you.
I don’t like this idea of value and I think it gets guys focused on the wrong thing. But it works.
Per Roosh, if you treat her like she’s beneath you, she’ll try to win your approval.
Where we differ – This type of thinking runs into stupid value questions.
If you think like this, don’t you lose your value if you approach the girl and try to start the interaction?
I read a lot of beginner questions because those “question” everything style of questions that are rooted in practical things basically let you think about game at a deeper level.
Anyway, Roosh makes a smart statement.
You decide your own value when you chat up a new girl.
So you can fake high value till you make high value. You can shape her reactions to you, by your conscious actions towards her.
This is some real good game even if it comes from a fucked up place.
There are some other good affirmations in here as well.
Chapter 3 – Pre Game
This is the part where you work on your look, your speech, and actions. There are obviously better sources, but he at least gives you a good list to work on – and you can seek out other sources.
Chapter 4 – Attraction
He goes into types of attraction, what triggers attraction, what destroys it, and how unstable it is.
The types of attraction are explained in very concrete and time oriented ways – Pre-minute, post minute, and reputational.
Pre-minute is the idea that a girl knows if she wants to get with you in the first 5-60 seconds. Post is after she experiences your behavior, and Reputational is what others say about you and have said.
Triggers are the typical looks and personality. And destroyers are the things you think would destroy attraction.
He ends the chapter with 3 types of game
Chapter 5- Roosh Program
This is basically how to learn his style of pickup. This is very similar to his advice in Bang, even down to watching Seinfeld. But it puts muscling up front and center. No Fap and Reading Books also show up. Roosh goes Renaissance on this one.
Chapter 6 – Approaching
It should be called cold approaching, and he goes into lots of detail here. This is the reason to buy the book if you want no frills “how to talk to girls”.
Rejection is no big deal for Roosh. He’s not a converter, he’s a screener. This actually has some legs to it, even though I’m much more of a “closer” – his reasoning for her “rejecting” you is so simple that it should make the next chick EASIER to approach.
He advocates a volume approach/numbers game at first.
What is interesting about the book are the two factors that determine a chick’s options with random cold approaches – Attraction and Availability.
Girls don’t actually need to think like this in order for it to be useful framework for a guy. It makes the inevitable wheel spinning more tolerable as you grind through your first 100 approaches to build up reference points.
Roosh teaches the reader to remain detached from the experience,
Which is useful advice for guys that are too attached to the outcome of every encounter. In time, learning to inject attachment can help your game – though it may not initially help your results.
There are some good visualization exercises in this section as well.
Indirect vs Direct
His understanding of indirect game is flawed, and think of it as more of delayed direct.
Proper indirect game is interacting with a chick, pushing her buttons, and she starts to wonder WHY IS THIS COOL GUY NOT HITTING ON ME? You close this chick by putting her in a situation where she’s seeking your validation, and you’re giving her compliance hoops to jump through. You are the one that decides, not her. That’s the whole point of what Style and Mystery were doing. Mystery in particular can tell you a banal story in a compelling way, and that only invites more chat, more energy. At which point, he can withhold that emotional joy/zeal/interest for a price.
I can’t blame Roosh. If you watch his stuff on YouTube he can go from dry and monotone, to funny and animated – but doesn’t seem to have the media training to tap into the compelling part of himself. But he would then be conforming to what society wants…
The way Roosh suggests indirect game is starting some innocent chat and moving to asking her out for a date. So each beat in the conversation goes from general bullshit to asking her out or for a number.
Direct is what it is commonly understood by guys that know nothing about pickup. A comment that is unambiguous about your intent. It’s usually about her.
Night game vs Day Game – His book Day Bang is much explanation of his style. I would not buy this book to learn day game. It does highlight a lot of the differences between the two.
Chapter 7 – Dating
He includes the text issues here, and talks about calling a girl as well.
There aren’t many (any?) killer lines to text when she stops responding here. He does talk about some of the basic text rules that everyone talks about. (text less, text at the right time, reply at the right interval). The basic rule to texting is to not appear to needy, and you appear that way by not over-texting. This of course leads to all sorts of practical issues that you see on any beginner’s forum, because girls don’t initiate. Girls typically don’t have good text skills, they don’t make conversations “man” interesting. They have no problem texting their girlfriends though.
But the section on texting and setting up the date is pretty thorough. If anything, it should convince you to go for the SNL/SDL.
Date design is discussed
What’s important is that he ramps down expectations on what to text. If you’ve ever read r/Tinder – those guys are doing the most and not getting the results to speak of.
The section on dating is really extensive. If a guy has autism issues and struggles to understand the flow of a date – this coupled with a good autism book would be great.
Qualification
Do you have standards?
There is a mini-section on qualification, which isn’t in the approach section. I think this is in error, especially when Roosh’s criteria for women includes LTR aspects for STR encounters. But bringing out qualifications during the date scenario is brilliant in it’s own right. It is definitely geared for a mini-ltr not a 1st date connection. Some of the back and forth isn’t very playful, and it’s more about hard screening.
Teasing
Teasing gets a section here, and he doesn’t bring up the clichés. This is low key one of the better sections of the book and shows that playful interesting side of Roosh and not so dogmatic and philosophical.
Chapter 8 – Sex
Lots of detail about “how” in this section. Since this is a family blog, I don’t want to get too much into it. This is one of those sections where thoughtful and vanilla advice can be taken out of context and used to smear him. But from kissing to condoms, this goes from A to Z.
Chapter 9 – Relationships
I relate to Roosh on this. I’m too old to out in these streets to be honest. Screening only takes you so far, so Roosh talks about getting the girl on the same page as you, as opposed to you getting on her page. There is a leadership theme throughout the book and it is most evident here. Again a must read section of the book.
Chapter 10 – Conclusion
He has some advice on how to diagnose your game issues and the “good girl”, but another theme in this book, coming from a man tired of the games that women play – he delves into sustainable game.
Rather than living on the game treadmill, new apps, new modalities every 5-6 months – he wants the reader to have sustainable game. Notch count is no longer the goal, but building a skill set and having good experiences with less women is the key.
Appendices – Social Circle and Love Tourism
Social circle is what you would think it is, and I find it an odd inclusion. Love Tourism is a distillation of his practical advice from his bang guides.
My Conclusion
Roosh is in a different place than he was back in 2007. The world has changed. He’s grown weary and wary.
It’s a good book, but you have to know what you’re getting into. My ideas and experience about dating, as well as my politics diverge from Roosh’s, but I still think there is value in his work. Especially if you’re of the Red Pill 2.0 persuasion.
-Archie
The TL DR on this
In terms of Black Man’s Game, right now the big dog on the block is Alpha Male Strategies.
If you’ve been following me for a while – this is not my style at all. Like I was saying on the thread – my style of game – the one that I advocate everyone using – is to focus on a verbal/personality style of game to get the girl mentally/intellectually and EMOTIONALLY involved.
So you’d think that I’d be totally against what AMS has to say.
You’d be wrong.
So let’s get into what I like about his style, and some differences.
What are you buying into?
Just from the name, you gotta understand that AMS is
And he is an alpha male in the standard sense.
This is how he describes himself in the book.
So from a skeptical point of view, he is already a combination of the woman’s “dream man”. He has his look together and his money together. If you haven’t been out in the clubs, or you’re new to the game – you would naturally think that girls would be thrilled to have a guy like this interested in them.
Consider this fictional list (there are plenty online)
He Lets the Girl Choose Him
We’ll talk about this below, but in the book and in a lot of his videos – he doesn’t do much cold approach. (Cold Approach for new readers is when you don’t know the girl, you don’t make eye contact, and she doesn’t give you any idea that she wants to be talked to by anyone, much less you.)
He waits for the non-verbal go ahead before he steps up to the chick.
A choosing signal is (AKA a Pre-Approach Invitation/Male Approach Invitation)
For you new guys, most women during the general course of her day doesn’t do much to attract the attention of men – her being is what attracts them. However, when she wants to start an interaction with a man she likes – she either overtly signals or she puts herself in a position to be approached. If a Indonesian chicks comes to the hip hop spot – she wants to dance with “hip hop” guys. That’s positioning. The chick that goes to “Charity Events” instead of the “Free Wing Night” at the sports bar – is positioning herself to be approached by rich (and usually older) men.
What AMS does is straight out of the Barbershop/Pimp Lite Game Manual
Here’s him on choosing signals
A quick recap on BMG – It ranges from Pimp Tight (where you only get with the chick so she can go out and make money), to Pimp Lite, to Barbershop, to Patrice O’Neal, to Denzel, to Will Smith. If there’s a black dude out there getting results – he adds to the universe of BMG.
We differ on whether to do Cold Approach
Now, I’m 6 foot online, but in real life I’m 5’10”. At best, I’m slim, but most of the time, I’m just out of shape. At no point have I been muscular. So I don’t look like the “alpha male” stereotype. Maybe at work, where I run a team – but then the power dynamic is artificial. (Which can work, but that’s a talk for another time)
In the real world, If a girl likes my look, that’s cool. And if all I wanted was crunchy white girls with dreadlocks that want brown babies or professional black women looking for a project to show off to her grad chapter sorority sisters – I’d never need game.
My motivation for cold approach is that I would not be in this game if I wanted what I could easily and naturally get.
That’s why
I am pro-cold approach.
Even the high school kids lurking on this blog, trying to get with that nice girl in biology class – they know that the first girl is just the start of the journey, not the end. To an extent the adolescent fantasy is to have that Hugh Hefner/Dan Bilzerian lifestyle. Surrounded by Vegas Club 10’s, jetting off to exotic locales, cool cars, cool clothes, and looking like the man.
As you date those hot club chicks, strippers, daddy issues girls, sorority chicks, cougars and milfs…etc – the Lex Steele Lifestyle is no longer appealing. You know what that chick is like. And even if you backpedal to a solid chick (career, education, not partying every night) – the regular chick with the pornstar looks under the Ann Taylor suit is still going to put you through an emotional wringer. There’s more than just looks and her immediate behavior and personality. And you have your own growth….But I digress.
Back to AMS.
If you think like him, if you have the same strategy – will you get the results that he has?
That’s the big question here.
If you aren’t a 6’4″, muscular, pretty boy, with his money right – if you adopt his mindset and his strategies – will you get his results?
If I think like you, if my mindset changes my behavior, will I be able to get the girls that he gets?
Results?
This is his type of chick. Video should be cued up. The rest of the video is his style of rant – whether or not you rock with that.
Without question, that’s definitely a bad bitch/instagram model type chick. I would be happy with them results personally – though we didn’t get to hear much of what she has to say – I imagine they’re both on the same page conversation wise.
[Ed. incidentally, showing girls that you bang on youtube and brag about it, isn’t good operational security – that’s something that the community figured out back in the early 00’s. Here’s some white boys that got caught up doing just that.]
He doesn’t do infields.
So the book is there to basically install his mindset into yours.
You have to buy in to his model for this book to really gel with your own thoughts and mindsets. But the data is coming largely from him. He doesn’t do infields, and it’s up to you to decide if you like his choice of women. (And there’s the meta-issue if a bad sista on Instagram has the same behavior and mentality as the bad Persian that works in your building)
We’ll leave that an open question for now as to whether adopting his strategy and mindset will net you the results. Spoiler alert, yes and no.
Why did he write the book?
According to the book, the reason he wrote it, is because he models other successful coaches.
Not to get too much into the black guy on youtube spitting game controversy- but here is Alan Roger Currie (Who wrote Mode One – which is a good book if you are trying to get out of the matrix of how you are supposed to act with women) speaking on AMS and how he gave him the blueprint to success.
I’m not really into the PUA community drama – I’m just here for the data.
How is the book written?
Written just like he talks. If you’ve watched any of his videos – it’s a more of the same. He’s probably got a great audio to text translator.
As Kiyosaki once said, “How to be a best-selling (not a best-writing) author”
What’s interesting from an analyst like myself is how personal he gets about his journey.
He started his journey from regular dude in the matrix of social programming (make money, lift weights, be nice to girls, accept what society and women tell you) and into being a full time player at 27.
Think about that. He was a full grown man physically at 21. Even with all of the SMV going into it, at the height of his natural testosterone – even HE wasn’t getting the results that he wanted.
So he needed to change how he thought about women. And that’s part of the genius of the book.
I don’t think he puts that metamorphosis front and center, but throughout the book, dude is forthcoming about how he fucked up, how he got fucked over, and what made him think about the man he wanted to be. That’s why I recommend the book, he’s honest.
If you’re a brother in his general position – 6 foot tall, not afraid to go the gym – I think his book is perfect fit for you. His moves to get stronger, to look better, to move away from being employed to owning his own business, and to basically focus on getting your shit straight would be ideal.
Let’s continue.
Path and Purpose
Like most guys in this youtube/pick up/game space – he takes a lot of cues from everything else that is going on. Back before PUA was a big thing online, every dude had a “method” to getting chicks. They had their own spin, their own lingo, their own language.
What you notice nowadays is a lot of guys that basically watch some RSD, maybe half read Mystery (and never understand him) and some stuff online- and then they come up with their own methods.
So you hear weird phrases that no one else says.
A lot of these coaches rely on the audience knowing things that other coaches says. This ain’t academia where you need to cite specific authors – but if you know those underlying works, you can tell that the guru doesn’t understand what they read. They just end up being buzzwords not real concepts to use.
AMS’s version of “Path and Purpose” is straight out of the RSD camp’s “natural game” movement.
The idea of path and purpose via RSD is that you have this vision of how you want your life to go, and every day you’re striving towards that. You don’t just float through life going from one weekend to the next.
AMS’s version of this is about making MONEY.
Again, this is very much within the BMG framework.
The Black Man’s Game springs forth from the universe in which a woman wants resources in a her man, but he has none. Instead of leading with the wallet, he leads with words. He gives her the feelings of wealth, of security, of prosperity by what he says and does.
He sells the dream.
The dream works because the mind “can’t tell the difference between thinking about something and actually experiencing something”. That’s the useful fiction. It’s why you’re not supposed to tell people about your goals, because the second you give voice to them – the mind no longer has urgency to achieve those dreams. It’s all self-help bullshit when you think about it empirically and objectively – but just because it’s not tangible doesn’t mean that lies that we tell ourselves can’t become reality. Indeed, one of the biggest parts of the Dark Triad style of game is delusional confidence.
Indeed, the Pimp Game is about selling the dream, and SHE goes out to make the money for both of them.
The modern version of the pimp game is getting the girls to make money, and then the pimp takes the money and flips her money into something bigger. I don’t know the exact part in the conversation but Gunplay gets into that here.
https://youtu.be/bjI9WZIcGeo
AMS Brings up Contradictions to the Path and Purpose you don’t hear from other Gurus.
If you are on your purpose, some women will punish you for it.
A guy that’s really on his path and purpose, not giving the chick the attention she needs, prefers to stack his bread and let his money do the talking?
That’s literally a “beta male provider”.
So if that doesn’t turn the chick off from jump (young girls want excitement) – then they want to be seen as potential wifey and see you as potential boyfriend and husband.
I’ve mentioned this on the blog. Some of my best partners are 7 figure dudes. They roll up in the Benz for the date and then try to swoop the girl back at the condo overlooking the city. She knows inherently that the a rich man doesn’t want a slut long term, so she goes from stripper to nun when she sees something other than Ikea furniture at this crib. This is basically how suit game backfires. I don’t recommend the fitted jacket and “loud” pocket square thing as a hook, because what it tells girls is that you have money.
AMS notes this dichotomy. Even if you are well versed in pick up, AMS talks a lot more about how women behave. Todd n’nem don’t discuss this shit. (I’ll eventually review The System.) As I write this, Todd just put up a video about Hypergamy that doesn’t really address the term at all. It’s more like tough sets with hot chicks that are indecisive, not them moving up to a bigger and better deal.
AMS on Female Sexual/Resource Strategies
Per AMS, there are 2 primary female strategies
Good girl and Gate Keeper are my terms for this. He uses something else.
General Behavior towards men
Per AMS how women behave towards men, and chicks screens out
This last one is interesting.
All models are wrong, some models are interesting – George Box.
He talks about this masculine energy in women a lot. Basically a chick trying to be a man – getting a job, calling shot, not letting him make decisions. In his mind, if you’re an “alpha male” this is not something to be taken lightly. You can’t get with a chick like this.
Hmm, this seems like the sort of thing a “Strong Black Woman” would jump all over.
I’m not gonna touch this topic here. My low traffic blog needs to stay low traffic.
[Ed. He actually talks about 4 on his page.]
How far is this down the rabbit hole in terms of game? Especially when compared to other introductory sources?
Does AMS go in depth on tactics to solve this issue?
Not really. The key thing to this book is that it’s STRATEGY, not tactics, not gambits, not a step by step recipe on what to say to the chick to get her back to your place.
Other Female Behavior
If the homies can get some?
When you are a true alpha male, your homie’s chicks will start throwing action your way. Sometimes it’s attraction, sometimes it’s to boost her ego. Very perceptive and not really discussed in other PUA literature.
Now coming from a Black Man’s perspective, this is actually a wrinkle in our culture. This happens with other insular groups, but the idea that my chick would know my homies well enough to want to slide them some skins?
It means I’m really mixing my circles with my relationship. In black professional circles, most of the people fucking each other are one step removed from college and greek life. If you’re African, you probably all go to the same restaurants, parties, and celebrations. Caribbeans are the same. So a chick jumping from your dick to a dick you have already broken bread with is the norm. This gets into the realm of true cold approaches and how to handle those relationships…but again a story for another time.
I think in the white community this happens with work place stuff and close social circles. Take my girl from Better Call Saul – she’s marrying her hairdresser’s Ex.
https://youtu.be/STmqLXIDyy8
So what we find in AMS’s work that you typically don’t find in other introductory/manifesto style game books is actual social dynamics, actual social circle issues.
That’s a key thing, and social circle game is something that is pretty much neglected by the industry. There’s
How to make his style work? Be High Value
So AMS is on his path and purpose (stacking dollars, doing what he loves).
His style won’t work for you, if you aren’t on your path and purpose. If you aren’t out chasing paper and making your dreams happen – you can’t do this.
So how do you meet women and still handle your business?
According to him, he has so much ‘value’, that these chicks are willing to wait. And if they don’t wait, well fuck em. He doesn’t have time for chicks to take him off of his path.
How this plays out is that he gets the number, and he doesn’t contact the chick until he wants to. He decides.
That basically solves a lot of issues that I saw on the Reddit Board, but it definitely bangs against PUA orthodoxy.
The basic experience of most guys in this game is that a woman’s in the moment interest/emotions are the highest when you’re with her, and then the dissipate as time goes on. Indeed, you just grab the number, chances are modest that you’ll actually connect.
So throughout the book, AMS basically uses choosing signals and then only pursues chicks with high interest.
He takes it the next step, and he only deals with girls that give him high interest but also don’t require much of him in terms of being wooed and entertained.
He is anti-entertaining the chick.
The chick needs to entertain him.
And if the chick wants to carry on a long ass text conversation via text?
Balancing purpose with pursuit of women.
Being on your purpose diminishes your social skills, so business during the week and pleasure on the weekends.
I’m the exact opposite. If i’m trying to make a connection, the girl drinking on a Tuesday night ain’t doing shit on Wednesday morning.
His take on the 4 Masculine Strategies
1) Be a Nice guy
It is the weakest of the four. But one can get nice guy to work on a volume basis. Meet enough chicks, deal with enough rejection, and you’ll find the one that wants to buy what you’re selling.
When he played the nice guy he did manage to get with some of them – his smv was high and her availability was high.
He has a strict No Friends policy with chicks.
2) Beta male Provider Strategy – lead off with your financial success
As a reader note, I believe this is the first time he uses the word hypergamy. But it’s explained at all. The short hand version of hypergamy is that a chick is ALWAYS looking out for a guy with a better deal to offer. So if you make 250k and you’re 6 foot, you got to worry about the guy that’s 6’2″ or the guy that make 500k. She will always trade up.
The problem with the Provider Strategy is that nothing drops a woman’s attraction faster than a man seeking a woman’s approval
3) The High Value lifestyle
Consists of
A quick aside on “High value” and being on your path and purpose
Again, the reality is that the typical guy that’s on his purpose – think STEM, Law, Banking – really doesn’t have time for chicks. Entrepreneurs are even worse. But as most of you guys know, dudes that stack green, usually don’t stack chicks.
This is basically a lie.
Go to San Francisco and start talking to Vijay and Tony (Hyun-Ki like his mama calls him) – they get paid but no broads. Very few billionaires have attractive women on their sides.
Though the one I can think of is a brother
(Hope Dworaczyk, a former Playboy playmate – google her stuff when you’re at home, cause it’s definitely not safe for work.)
It’s crazy to think that’s what a billion dollars entitles you to though. Is any chick worth 500M?
This is the woman Drake said wasn’t shooting with Kobe in the gym
Now if that’s the mother of your children, that’s a different discussion IMO. The only woman that rates above your child’s mother is your own.
Let’s get back to the 4 male approaches.
4) Direct approach
He’s against it, because of/in light of #MeToo, sexual harassment. (The Roosh review is coming, but Roosh definitely talks about this in his forbidden tome)
Now to be clear, he means an overtly sexual approach to chicks, which is on the continuum of direct approaches, but more on the extreme end. That being said next time you’re on a date, get the girl to show you what kind of messages guys send over dating apps. Everyone is brave online.
He says to let the woman know you’re interested, but don’t talk sex.
To me this is not something that needs to be mentioned, but the fact that he mentions it, means that he’s running into a lot of guys that are talking about the D within in the first 10 seconds of their in-person discussion.
He likes the direct approach because it cuts out the fuss. But she has to have high interest for it to work.
How does he generate interest? He prefers to raise the girl’s “interest” over dates.
Let’s do a quick recap of his practical advice
If you’re a D1 athlete, perfect. The guys watching his stuff are usually not lifting, not making good money, and they aren’t high value enough to get choosing signals in the first place. This “value gap” is something that every PUA guy has to deal with. Guys want Ferrari women when they can barely afford to ride the bus.
Female Game Continued.
What happens if chicks find out about the male strategies
This loops back to his idea of building value – by being on your path and purpose, working out, being your own boss.
Distilling his game down to the basics
Conclusion
This was probably the longest post I’ve written on WIA.
Overall, I recommend the book. I don’t think I’ve really scratched the surface on what he has to offer. There are lots of good nuggets to grasp about mindset, how women behave, positioning, and other concepts you don’t often find in mainstream PUA lit.
That being said, I think his program and strategy can work for a guy that doesn’t fit his mold. But it will take significant work outside of the path I suggest of talking to chicks, learning their behavior, and taking advantage of their emotional states.
Much like the Roosh Program and I would argue most of the Neo-RSD style – getting with chicks is less about learning how to talk to them, and more about building yourself up.
You guys know how I feel about the lifestyle strategy in general. Historically, guys had the lifestyle but not the chicks. Every timeI go out, I see AMS type dudes holding the bar, looking cool, waiting on choosing signals. I step up to chicks and get that into a conversation, regardless of whether she gives me the non-verbal go ahead.
Is it alpha to be chosen? Or is alpha to choose?
You decide.
-Archie
Shout to the homie ISO for alerting me to the book.
Subtle.
Not Subtle.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmtu8h6APtZ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link