“Rogers was extraordinarily good at imagining where children’s minds might go. “
I’ve been neglecting the site, not really adding much to the thread, and sharpening my book by dealing with the hordes of incels and autistics at Reddit.
It’s useful to me because it’s hard for me to know what I know when I talk to cats that are further along.
There is baseline socialization. You have parents that love you, a few friends, you’ve gone through school, can hold a job, etc. You have probably had a date, a girlfriend, but not necessarily.
What baseline socialization teaches you about connecting with women is that you need to look good and have resources. I say this all the time, but it always bears repeating – the Pick Up Gurus of the 90’s and 00’s – realized that looking good and having resources was not important to making that connection.
They observed guys that looked good and had resources, but no women.
Some of them looked good and had resources, not no women.
Those that didn’t have looks or money, went out and got looks and money, but the pattern was the same – no women.
I’m going to throw some mythology onto the development of the original pick up – they backwards engineered what cools guys were DOING. And it turns out that behavior was the thing that really attracted women and lead to those connections.
Technically, it was a bunch of guys doing the scientific method with applied psychology – sometimes they replicated what cool guys did, other times they came up with things that no legitimately cool guy would do – and it still worked – Palm Reading for instance.
But we saw what pick up did
- Style was still neurotic, and he chronicles that in The Truth
- Mystery got taken out by what we could call nowadays hypergamy.
- Tyler, who may or may not be autistic, basically had to reinvent himself. And he’s since gone on to have to deal with some issues of his own creation.
That’s life.
I’ve been doing this way too long, and I don’t have all of the background and history 100% correct – but I can tell you that what these boys been talking about has never been Game, with a capital G.
Chances are if you’re a Black American, you’ve been exposed to a lot of game, but very little pickup. Few of us have ever seen a real live pimp pull a square chick into his web, or seen a hustler convince folks at the salon that the Tide detergent fell off a truck.
I’ve only been privy to that on happenstance. I could have easily been in another place those particular moments to see some real persuasion going down.
But as I got older and wiser, reading Pimp’s in their own words, reading about psychology, advertising, marketing, history, coaching, teaching, psychotherapy, confidence games… it became very apparent to me what actual game was – and how some of it seeped it Pick Up, on the low.
My man Fred Rogers was a pimp at the HIGHEST LEVEL.
So when a pickup artist sees a chick at the bar, the sequence is simple.
Get her attention
First words to start that conversation. Next set of words to make the conversation fun and interesting. And the final set of words are meant to start banter.
From a deeper level – she may be startled or annoyed or indifferent. He addresses that early on. Then as she gets out of that emotional state, he captures her curiosity. From there, he goes from neutral fun to chat, to one that is man to woman. And the way I think about pick up, this isn’t discrete moments moving along in a linear fashion, but levels of degree throughout the first part of the pull.
Things written about the game tend to be of the “what to say” and “how to say it” mindset. But the more you do it, “Why to say it” and “When to say it” end up being the difference between some bullshit on the page, and a chick admiring your book collection at your place.
As you get better though, shifting back to “What to say” becomes more important, because you can set things up with more finesse.
A player only does that after a bit of success, and the desire to refine.
Here’s the rules that Fred came up with.
- “State the idea you wish to express as clearly as possible, and in terms preschoolers can understand.” Example: It is dangerous to play in the street.
- “Rephrase in a positive manner,” as in It is good to play where it is safe.
- “Rephrase the idea, bearing in mind that preschoolers cannot yet make subtle distinctions and need to be redirected to authorities they trust.” As in, “Ask your parents where it is safe to play.”
- “Rephrase your idea to eliminate all elements that could be considered prescriptive, directive, or instructive.” In the example, that’d mean getting rid of “ask”: Your parents will tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Rephrase any element that suggests certainty.” That’d be “will”: Your parents can tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Rephrase your idea to eliminate any element that may not apply to all children.” Not all children know their parents, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play.
- “Add a simple motivational idea that gives preschoolers a reason to follow your advice.” Perhaps: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is good to listen to them.
- “Rephrase your new statement, repeating the first step.” “Good” represents a value judgment, so: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them.
- “Rephrase your idea a final time, relating it to some phase of development a preschooler can understand.” Maybe: Your favorite grown-ups can tell you where it is safe to play. It is important to try to listen to them, and listening is an important part of growing.
It goes back to Fred getting in the head of the children he was trying to teach.
I wouldn’t “find and replace” children with women in this case – but I would take this mindset of figuring out how Ms. Ombre Hair and Septum Ring with the Long Legs – approaches the world.
Which brings us back to the Game with a Capital G. One of the more interesting things I’ve learned about Gentlemen of Leisure – is that the actual process of getting more money out of a customer is something he doesn’t teach. He doesn’t problem solve for the girl – that puts him in her service. His main chick is the one that does the problem solving when trying to explain the nuts and bolts to the other women in his employ. (Reminds me of work, lol)
That’s cool and all, but the level of abstraction up, is him thinking through his worker’s mindset and his own duties. If he solves her problems, she will rely on him to do so. If I gotta do your work and my work, my work suffers.
Shout to my man Fred.
Not all players wear gators
I sent him a letter as a child and he mailed me back a hand written note and a signed picture.
Video of Fred using his powers of persuasion.
https://youtu.be/fKy7ljRr0AA