When She Makes The First Move

I interpret anything said to me by a female stranger as her attempt to pull me. In general, girls just don’t randomly talk to men that are strangers.

So the useful fiction here is that girls do not go around giving compliments to strangers, I then must be special.

I assume she’s in to me.

Making that assumption lets me be in the right frame of mind to connect. And interpreting her actions as positive towards me, often changes the tenor of the encounter.

That’s not always the case, but some assumptions help you to take action. And new players usually need to take action more than observe or delay.

So assuming the positive and the positive pushes me to act…

Experience has taught me that anytime a chick initiates a chat, she *still* wants any romantic chat to proceed as if she was the buyer. (Like you approached her, and she’s in her normal judging mode)

The typical guy assumes that it’s in the bag, so he doesn’t give her the pleasure of flirting.

That’s a mistake.  There are guys in this for the chase, and guys in it for the kill.  More often than not, these chicks are in it for the chase.  Cause they don’t hunt, they farm, they go to the grocery store, they have other people pay for food.

Failing to play a little bit of back and forth, let her win you over is one of the ways good looking guys don’t pull chicks that get the balls to approach.

A key thing to remember is that in her mind, your looks are supposed to give you a certain character, certain behavior.  If you look a certain way, she expects you to behave that certain way,  to complete the fantasy.

The idea that if you look good, you must be good (and her idea of good is “skewed) –  is a well known psychological concept called the halo effect.

His visual is supposed to correspond with the behaviors that she desires.

And in my experience, the behaviors tend to matter a great deal.  Indeed, if you can give her the behavioral experience she craves – she starts to test you to see if you’re real deal – and when you pass those tests – attractions goes through the roof.  When the attractive behavior carries over from word into deed – that’s the congruence guys are looking for.

Visual attraction has to be very high if the guy doesn’t push the right emotional buttons.  It has to be entirely about his genes in such a situation.  (Fame is another  one of these things that works despite poor behavior)

In Practice

As a rule, I don’t verbally acknowledge the compliment, nor do I respond with a typical compliment – which is what good manners aka socialization tells you to do.

I might nod/smile to accept the compliment, and then launch into something that I’m thinking about right then and there. And talking to her like you know her, like you’ve already been intimate, like you can share some inside joke – that *demeanor* can build trust and attraction. A chick will jump into that role because it’s one that she knows well.

That’s when the game really starts. Because I take her compliment as an opportunity to play. And I want to know if she’s going to be fun to play with.

In general, people are weird about words. And adding words to a set of actions can give actions different meaning. “I’m you’re boyfriend”, “I love you” – are the two biggest ones that come to mind. Saying “Hello”, or calling someone “ma’am” can start a cascade of predictable behaviors.

So if she says “Nice Shoes”

• non-verbally acknowledge her statement
• take it as an invitation to play
• and then play with her

-Archie