Compliments and Bar Openers

Andy asked this question

I was searching for ‘opener’ info and saw some of your posts on rooshv forum. There was one thread where I think you advised to never open with any sort of compliment – even one not directed at her beauty, but at maybe an item of clothing or something. ”Hey, I like your trainers!” sort of thing.

Can you confirm that this is ‘bad’ practice? Lots of people do this on infield clips I see.

How would you open a girl in a bar – say 11pm in a small bar in a local town?

On Compliments

1) Compliment openers are not for guys new to the game.
a) That’s what regular guys do
b) You don’t want to do what regular guys do
c) If a girl doesn’t value your opinion, then it’s more of an annoyance
d) Even if it starts the conversation – it doesn’t really show much personality on your part – and no personality = no value.  So on the shot clock, you’ve wasted valuable seconds.

There are good ways to do compliment openers – but it’s only after you get used to talking to girls, and hitting the emotional high notes and craziness that they like.
I could do it, but a guy new to the game probably couldn’t.

West Indians use compliments to open all the time – but they’re not earnest compliments.

Dread – “Gyal yuh suh sweet dat di mango knock yuh door fi sugar”

In English – “Girl you’re so sweet that the mango knocks on your door for sugar.  ”

The compliment is so ridiculous and over the top, and delivered with a smile – that the point of the compliment is not the content themselves – but the preposterous nature.

It shows creativity and personality, much more than tells the girl that she’s sweet.

It makes a chick laugh. And when you make someone laugh, that’s them falling in to your frame.  You doing stuff to control their moods and emotions.

An example from General Degree

Square guys, newbs – they’ll say,

“Your eyes are so beautiful. “

That’s an earnest compliment – and from some stranger – it means nothing.

“Nice shoes”  – if she’s wearing heels, and they’re sexy – it’s not really giving her anything to work with, to react from.

Replace it with, “I know exactly what you want right now” – “A nice pair of comfy bunny rabbit slippers with the ears..”

2) Small Bar in a Local Town

Keep in mind this West Indian Archie – a black guy writing about game for Black, Latino, Indian, Asian, and Middle Eastern guys – I (we) have to be mindful in Small Town America.

Some of my majority-American readers would not have to be mindful, and could come in hard and direct and sexual from the very beginning.

In general,
– I’d approach from the side
– I’d be loud
– Turn to her and say

“You look like a person/lady/woman who….” <-cold read works better than environmental openers because she might have missed whatever you’re noticing

– Give it a few seconds
– If she reacts positive/negative or does nothing – follow it up with whatever I started

Now I talk a lot in general, I can improvise on the spot.  You might not have those skills yet.  So think about something that happened to you today.
Turn it into an opener by 1) cold read to open, 2) follow up with a story that gives her a chance to give her input

I’m writing this a few days after the 1st big Clinton Trump debate, so I might go with a current event.

“Did you hear Donald Trump sniffing…You think he’s on coke? That’s what they’re saying online”

….after the attention get, after the cold read, after the story…you will hit the social hook point (RSD Julien calls it that) where she’s cool to chat.
Then you need to push for the sexual hook point – where she actively wants to talk to you – and not just to shoot the shit.
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The foundation of my game, is that I’m an interesting dude that people like to talk to.
So if that’s what you’re aiming for, keep reading my stuff.

If you’re more of a hard charging alpha, “my way or the highway”, I can’t tell you how to do that successfully all the time.

-Archie